it's one of those mondays where all you want to do is crawl back in bed and re-do the whole morning. actually, what i would like to do more than anything in the world right now is crawl under a rock and die. i partially fucked up yet another email blast and as a result we sent out a completely pointless email to 71,000 people. it wasn't my mistake per se, but i was one of those responsible for not testing thoroughly before it went out.

do you ever feel like you've somehow put one over on everyone? you look around at all these people that hold you in somewhat high regard and you just think, "jesus, they really don't know what they're doing trusting me." lately i've been feeling like i make way too much money for the quality and quantity of my work, like i'm cheating the company out of tens of thousands of dollars. what makes me feel worse is the fact that i'm pretty sure i make more than a lot of people around here who work a lot harder than i do. part of the problem is that it's a bit slow around these parts lately, and i'm the sort of person who performs best under stress. when i don't have much to do, even the few things i do have are of shitty quality because i get out of practice. logically though, anyone could say to me, "look at this, this is the *only* thing you have to do and you can't even do THAT right!" i'm feeling like a completely useless and mediocre human being.

happy monday everyone.